Another operation is looming, I am in San Francisco again, the date is Dec 7th, one day to my operation. I have done very little this time in the way of sight seeing etc, I did that last time I was here, I have simply came to get my face changed again. Here are the latest series of hospital pictures taken via Tatiana, she has taken these as they should be for all you fans that want the three pics with the hair line away.

Pictures taken 30th Nov 2005

You can see clearly Dr Ousterhout's previous work in this sequence of pictures the eye's have changed a lot from my pictures on the main page of the operation, the time elapsed has been six months now, so it has been a good test, the main hair line scar is virtually invisible.

WHAT PROCEDURES THIS TIME

I have had my consultation with Douglas Ousterhout, he has told me how he is going to adjust my jaw line for me, I have also asked Doug to investigate a slight problem over my right eye, it is not visible on the photographs, many people would leave it and not want the scar re-opened but I am here, he is a surgeon and it is the last time I want to ever see an operation table.

Lower eye lid tightening
Jaw and Chin contouring
Slight reshape upper nose bone area
Investigate right eye

As you can see from the above, there is a little shopping list, this will give me a distorted face for sure.

DEC 14TH PICTURES AFTER MAJOR SURGERY

I decided that I hated the pictures so sorry they are not now available, you can see from the picture below with Tatiana I am very swollen this time.

PS Don't expect to come out of this one looking like Barbie one week later.

PICTURES BELOW OF ME AND THE GIRLS

The picture below was taken just before I left for my journey back home to the UK, unfortunately I was not able to get a picture of myself and Mira. I do actually look a little more like a human being in the pictures below, but you can see there is massive swelling this time.

DIANE AND TATIANA

Below is a bit of a fun picture, we never did get to go out together all of us, so I took us to pier 39 in the photograph, not quite real but hey life is about having some fun, and that we had, just didn't get to go out and do it.

2 WEEKS INFORMATION

It's been 2 weeks since the operation now, I will have pics within 3 days please be patient. What is my opinion now, well the first thing I will say is this hurts a lot, that may be my fault for not having the right pain relief, but I am taking Ibruprofen 600mg every 8 hours and its still hurting. I think this hurts because the jaw has a lot of movement in all directions, it especially hurts around the chin area, where there is a titanium plate. The swelling has gone down at least 70% now, my face is pretty normal in size, anyone not knowing I had surgery would not look twice. My friends know that I am swollen, I am struggling to pronounce my letter "S" or anything starting with an "S", I look a little like a puppet when I try and produce the sound, I don't have enough movement yet to make it clean, lots of practice in the mirror when I am speaking to try and get it all looking normal. I look a little gummy as well where my lips are still swollen, looks like I have forgotten to put my teeth in, but that will all shrink back within a few weeks.

I am settled back home in Spain now, it has been cold and horrid weather for here so that has not been a nice welcome, I was out last night on a Christmas party so the face has not dampened my Christmas spirit, like I said I will put picks in the next couple of days.

THE GHOSTS IN MY HEAD

It's still a little early to tell if the ghosts are still in there, but at the moment I am very happy with the outcome, the shape of my face is very different now. I didn't think the jaw made so much difference to the contour but it is already dramatic and it is very much a normal female contour even with the swelling. I am very happy, I have had a few tears like you do this is very emotional to deal with, I have said this before, it is horrid to think we have to have our face peeled of to feel normal. We have a lot of courage to take the steps we do, we go through a lot of pain, mine was slightely self inflicted as many people said that I didn't need the surgery, for me I did and am very pleased that I did. I would go through it again if I had the same starting point, would I want to knowing the discomfort? not sure, yes would have to be the answer, just to walk a normal path the answer has to be yes, when the Ghosts are gone, then life is boring the same as everyone else, you just have to worry about work, and life in general.

COMPARE JUST THE FOREHEAD OPERATION PICTURES BELOW

These are the pictures taken at the surgery, you can see that the picture on the left taken in June of 2005 is very different, these pictures show you the way that the upper skull has been reshaped. Look at the forehead on the left, very typical slopping back to the hairline, compared to the pictures taken in Dec 2005 at the surgery, you can see the reshape is lovely, the bone over the eyes has been shaved away and the forehead balanced, also the nose has been lifted and shrank on the tip also it is tappered slightly up.

JUNE 2005 left, DECEMBER 2005 Right, Pre JAW operation

On the front pictures you can see that my eyes have completely changed in the whole aspect. There is very little depth now which was what I wanted to achieve. My nose is straight and overall the face is more feminine. The aim of this JAW operation is to change the lower JAW to match the upper part of my face, again there will be new pictures in the next few days, please be patient, but at least you can see the progress I made on the first operation.

JUNE 2005 left, DECEMBER 2005 Right, Pre JAW operation

JANUARY 2ND 2006

Hello, it's now Monday January 2nd 2006, it's been 25 days since my operation, I have posted the new pictures below so you can see the progress to date. I am still hurting on the chin area and it feels like a pulsing sensation, it's not painful but persistant like a toothache, so very annoying. I have stopped all pain killers now, so I guess I could take pain killers but prefer not to take tablets. I do my spiritual healing type massage on it and hope that speeds the process up. All the stitches in the mouth feel like they have disolved now, I certainly can't feel them anymore, I can feel where they were that's all.

Here are the shots you have been waiting for 25 days post operation

If you look at the front picture on the left you can see the new shape to my chin, it is more pointed. If you look at the middle picture you can see that the jaw line is still swollen in the middle area and not yet contoured to the shape it will take when the swelling has gone. On the right picture you can see the swelling is still a lot on the jaw line. You can see the new contour on the right picture above my eye, it is shallower on the bridge of the nose where Doug took a little more bone away for me on my request.

The Difference is so subtle, it's still me yet very different.

Remember on this dual picture that the difference although subtle will still change a lot, I am only 4 weeks post operation today when this picture was taken. I put the pictures to the same facial dimension so you could see the difference. The left pictures is prior to any surgery whatsoever. The right picture is after major surgery to my upper and lower face, start on the operation page 1 and you will see the history of how I got to this stage. If you look at the back of the jaw already you can see even though it is still swollen that it is a lot narrower near my ears and the chin although still very swollen is different.

I hope that these pages help you, whether you want this type of surgery of whether you are supporting a friend or family member, there is some light at the end of the tunnel. You will have tears for sure, you will be frightened and go through a of discomfort, but the end result will give you an ordinary or better life. It took me until I was 45 to make these changes, I know feel for the first time in my life I can see me in the mirror, I don't cringe anymore, I don't feel sick anymore and I only cry because I am happier. Anyone coming across this site, please understand the pain that we go through, that we are normal women and that we are just imbalanced with the body to the brain, all these procedures simply make the body more like what the brain is, that is female.

CRANIAL FACIAL SURGERY

Cranial facial surgery is not restricted to people in my position, genetic women can also improve the way they appear, not all women are born with the stunning features of so few, you can improve your own female appearance, I did come across a lady with such a case whilst in America, she was simpy improving her appearance. Facial cosmetica surgery is no longer just tightening the surface skin, it can reshape the very bones that the skin sits on. Yes the surgery is a drastic step to take for anyone and not to be done lightly, but I think if you have come across this site you may well feel as desperate and looking for answers as I was.

I will continue to place new pictures on the site over the next few months, I have exposed myself to help others, I have risked my fairly normal quite life and let people into what is happening in my life, the horrid ugley pictures that need to be on the site so that I can show the differences. Use this site to educate people in all aspects of life, we are women, simple as that.

JANUARY 21ST 2006

My brother and me on a day out on the coast here in Spain

The above picture doesn't show the face close up, but you can see it's perfectly normal size again, the swelling is still there but not visible to people that don't know what has happened to me. I am happy with the changes that have been done to me, I am pretty much sorted in my head now, the ghosts that have haunted me throughout my life seem to have gone away, I can just be me Diane now, without thinking to much about what I look like.

My brother and I had a period in our lives where we didn't speak for up to 13 years, and now we spend time together again, it's nice, never give up with people, be more tolerant towards everyone and life only improves. I spent a lovely week with my brother, take a look at his number one issue in life, his son, www.deangrange.co.uk Dean had an accident 3 years ago, he is still in a vegative state now, my brother has gone home to find that Dean is back in hospital fighting for his life, he had a relapse, not a nice way to end a lovely holiday is Spain.

Dean Sadly died today, 25th January 2006

NEVER GIVE UP, ANY OF YOU, KEEP ON FIGHTING FOR LIFE.

SOME DAYS WILL SEEM INTOLERABLE, BUT IF YOU CREATE A GOOD CIRCLE OF PEOPLE AROUND YOU, THEY WILL GIVE YOU A REASON TO BE HERE. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE, STAND UP AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

I RISK EXPOSURE TO PEOPLE I KNOW BY CREATING THIS SITE, BUT THE REWARDS OF HELPING OTHER PEOPLE IS GREATER THAN THE RISK OF BEING OUTED TO MY FRIENDS, YES I CHOOSE TO KEEP MY LIFE SECRET FOR MYSELF, BUT IT IS MY CHOICE, OTHERS CHOOSE TO LET PEOPLE KNOW.

HERE ARE SOME PICTURES TAKEN ON MARCH 10TH 2006

I have taken some more pictures this week, it's been a while since I have put up any new pictures. If you look at the jaw line it has changed a lot, I am still swollen but it is changing all the time at the moment, I have been told that it will change up until June or July of this year. I cut my hair to short in a moment of being stupid, so it is going to take a while for it to get longer, hence the clip holding it in place. It is about 14 weeks since I had my surgery and things are getting to normal as you can see, I have lipstick on and nothing else, no cover make up or anything. The pictures were taking quickly just for the website, I still hate having pictures taken, I don't think that will ever change, so they are basic shots as always. I will get some shots when I am going out one day, I look a little more interesting than this. I will post pictures again in a while. You can see the contour on the jaw has improved dramatically, I have tried to show an angle that shows the jaw nicely. These shots are just lipstick and no other make up at all. Left is first thing in the morning and the right is later in the day when I was doing some painting.

NEW PICTURES 25TH APRIL 2006

These next couple of pictures are the first pictures of me with my hair down, I have not wore my hair down in 15 years, so this is a first and to show the pictures to the world, but I am trying to help people understand some of the problems we encounter as individuals in our situation. It is hard for me to share my life with so many people but at the same time it feels that a lot of people benefit. Last month alone more than 2900 people came to the site for their first time and looked at what can be done to help them. I can only hope that someone who is feeling as bad as I was will take steps to realise that life can be ok, it is not always the nightmare that we can believe it is when our ghosts come flooding back to us.

I have realised in only the last few days with my own friends how much they value me, it has brought a tear to my eye to think so many people value me, when I thought life was only about looking pretty and attractive, I am starting to understand that it is about the inside of us as well as the outside. We are usually attractive inside because we have endured a lot, sometimes we dont even see that because of the engrossment in trying to feel normal on the outside.

Keep fighting all of you, whether its your gender or you colour or even your weight, what ever ghost you have believe that there is more to you than a shell. We are all beautiful, we are the last to see it usually, but say good things and do good things to others, don´t accept it when your friends criticise others, stop them and educate them, they are not perfect either, even if they are stunning, then that fact that they ridiculed another means they are need to work on other things in their own lives. KEEP WINNING ON EACH AND EVERY DAY!

YEP! the hair down, a first

JUNE 2006

Another month has passed and my face is still changing weekly, constantly improving. My voice is my biggest weakness now, I have to work very hard on it all the time. It has always been ok, but with the face more femenine, then I have to work harder to make it match. I have a voice recording on the images page so you can at least hear a short amount of speech from me, any more and it takes up to much web space, but its an indication. Hope the web site is still helping, if you want to contact me for any reason please contact the email address at the top of the page, although this is direct to Doug, it will be forwarded to me.

JUNE 2006 six months after surgery

Diane and Best friend ready for a night out, 1 year later from the surgery.